Germany: Conversation - Part 1
From ExecutivePlanet.com
Welcome topics of conversation
General Guidelines
“Small talk” with strangers does not have a significant social function in German culture as it does in very relationship-oriented cultures [e.g. Mediterranean, South American, African, Middle Eastern countries] or the large immigration countries. In especially the latter cases, small talk and the art of conversation with strangers evolved out of a need to bridge considerable physical, cultural, and therefore psychological distance between individuals. Communities therefore grew from relationships built on common interests and needs [i.e. “Settlement community”] rather than from established familial and friendship ties [i.e. “Village community”].
Be prepared to take the first step as the newcomer to introduce yourself to an established group when you arrive in a new environment [e.g. office, student dormitory, social gathering, new neighborhood, etc.]. Unless you are specifically invited to join a group, do not automatically expect the established group to send out the “welcome wagon”. The German culture--unlike the highly relationship-oriented European countries whose initiating communication behavior serves to facilitate emotional comfort and social networking--is highly “fact-oriented”. This extends to a recognizable difference in the communication behavior extended to “friends” [“Freunde”] and “acquaintances” [“Bekannte”]. Be prepared for unsolicited attempts to start a conversation with a complete stranger in a new environment to be awkward, often taking the form of very stilted Qs & As.
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The concept of “mingling” doesn't really exist in the German culture. The reason for this can be found in the historical roots; the “village community” mentality of countries like Germany, as opposed to the “settlement community” mentality that evolved in immigration countries. This manifests itself directly in the culture's typical communication behavior. North Americans and Australians, for example, are excellent “minglers”, and the host of a social gathering plays his/her role in introducing his guests to each other with the aim that, as the party reaches full swing, no one will be a complete stranger to the others and be left standing holding a drink by himself in the corner. Be prepared for precisely this last scenario if you arrive at a German party knowing only the host, or only one or two other acquaintances. German parties are generally where good friends go to hang out together, and not seen as a chance to meet “new people”. It is not uncommon at parties to see one or two guests initially converse awkwardly with a few individuals only to eventually be relegated to sit alone, as established cliques of friends form with each new arrival.
If you are a North American or Australian of non-European ethnicity, be prepared for Germans to assume quite openly that you are from a part of the world based on how you look. Despite the fact that Germany is a de facto “multicultural” society today, it is, like most European countries, a traditionally non-immigration, mono-cultural country. Moreover, despite the “multi-kulti” trend in the media today, the psychological distinction between “German” and “foreigner” is very much based on ethnicity. Therefore, North Americans and Australians of “visible ethnicity” should be prepared for a typical line of questioning from perfect strangers that attempts to establish where you are “really from”.
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