Germany: Prosperous Entertaining - Part 2
From ExecutivePlanet.com
Entertaining for business success
A very important note: if a German colleague or friend merely suggests that you go out together to get something to eat, this is not to be taken as an invitation! In other words, he will not be offering to pay. Typically, in German restaurants, the waiter will come at the end of a meal and ask if the total should be “zusammen” [totaled together on one bill] or “getrennt” [separate bills]. Unless you have been explicitly “eingeladen” [“invited”], you can expect the waiter to be asked for separate bills, where the waiter will add together what you have just eaten and you will be paying him directly at the table. Therefore, an important point to remember for members of very relationship-oriented countries, who are culturally-conditioned to symbolically offer to pay or “fight” for the bill, this will not be expected from the German, and if your intention is only symbolic, the chances are very good that he/she will take it literally.
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German cuisine is traditionally heavy on the meats and sauces. This may present problems for people with special diets [health reasons, religious beliefs, vegetarians, allergies, etc.]. However, the important point here is that it will not cause irritation or embarrassment for your German hosts if you inform them of these restrictions directly. While it is important for members of highly relationship-oriented and strong hierarchical cultures to remain silent out of deference to the host's “face” or his/her perceived rank in relation to themselves, directness does not have a negative value in German culture, provided you communicate your needs politely, reasonably and in advance. Do not always expect Germans to ask you if there is anything you do not eat. Because Germans are direct communicators, they will expect someone to speak up if they want something, disagree about or don't like something. Irritation and inconvenience will rather result if you remain silent and “spring” the problem on the host only when the dishes are being served.
Germans do not often entertain business associates in their homes. If you are invited to a home however [which is more common at higher management levels and among academics], consider it a relationship-building gesture. You may be invited to a sit-down dinner in the evening, or a more common invitation is for afternoon “Kaffee trinken” [“drinking coffee”, which basically means “eating cake”].
Sit-down dinner parties begin quite punctually. If you must be late for any reason, it's important that you call and notify your hosts. Again, as with all appointments, you should give a plausible explanation for the delay.
Do not presume to seat yourself at a gathering: whenever possible, wait to be told where to sit [or wait for the host to tell you to sit wherever you like].
Traditionally, the most honored position is at the head of the table, with individuals of the greatest importance seated first to the left and then to the right of the head of the table. If a couple is hosting, often one will be at one end of the table, the other at the opposite end.
Only very occasionally, at more formal dinner parties, couples may be broken up and seated next to people they do not know. The intention of this arrangement is to introduce new acquaintances and promote conversation, especially if the guests are an international mix and more comfortable with small talk.
An “aperitif”, in the form of a liqueur or cocktail, may be served before dinner. When this same drink is served after the meal, it is referred to as a “digestif.” Aperitifs or digestifs are usually served cold.
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