Sweden: Public Behaviour
From ExecutivePlanet.com
Public behaviour
There are about 9, 2 million people living in Sweden today. Out of those, ca. 1, 4 million are immigrants from 199 countries of the world. There is no way the country can stay homogenous in terms of culture and habits!
However, there are a number of guidelines that you might find useful.
Comfort zone
“Mind your space” could be a Swedish motto. While minding hers, a Swede would expect you to mind yours. Maintain a distance of two arm-lengths between you and the person with whom you are conversing. I have seen so many Swedes crawl backwards being forced by their advancing foreign conversation partners! Embassy receptions provide a lot of occasions for such observations.
“Minding your space” also applies to gesticulating. Swedes keep their body language and hand gestures to a minimum, rather than relying on nonverbal forms of communication. You see, waving with limbs (and by the way, talking too loud) is in a way “taking somebody else’s space without asking for permission”.
With the exception of the handshake, Swedes do not like physical contact with anyone. Do not backslap, embrace, or touch a Swede unless you know him well enough to know that he does not mind.
Avoid having your hands in your pockets as you talk to someone – it can be looked at as “a bit arrogant”, especially by the elderly. Younger people though are not likely to judge you hard for doing so.
Rules vs. Relationships
Swedes are “universalists” – meaning they respect rules and think that rules apply universally, i.e. to all and at all times. Many people perceive Swedes as ‘squared’ by rules, inflexible and unable to act free.
A Swede would argue that it is rules that give you freedom. You don’t have to think over and over again how to approach dilemmas – just follow the rules (read: contracts, laws). Questioning the rules increases uncertainty – instead of helping to cope with it. This is irrational, isn’t it? Free your mind and imagination for something better than figuring out – over and over again – how to behave in this particular situation.
On the street, do not cross against a red light; instead, wait patiently on the curb until the light turns green. On streets with no traffic lights, be more careful when crossing. However, Swedish drivers are rather careful and usually stop for pedestrians. Maybe out of respect for rules? Maybe because they don’t want to deal with consequences? My observation is that pedestrians in Sweden are spoiled and take for granted that drivers would stop. This is a dangerous habit to have when you suddenly find yourself in New York or Moscow. Streetlights in the major cities have sound devices to assist the blind in crossing: a rapid clicking means, 'green.'
Equality
The Swedish are “universalists” also in terms of genders – gender equality is self-evidence here. You can hardly find an occupation which is entirely male or female. My 30-year-old female friend from the north of Sweden drives a 90-ton-truck in one of the mines up there. A totally natural thing!
When you meet your female business partner, you probably should avoid complements like “You look lovely in your dress!” If she is sharp-tongued, you might get an answer like “And you, too! Your tie matches your eyes in such a nice way!” Everyone appreciates gentlemanlike behaviour – just don’t exaggerate it.
According to the law, Swedish dads are supposed to share the baby care-leave with the moms. Two of the maternity months are ear-marked for the father – a thing seldom seen elsewhere! And Swedish fathers love this – changing diapers, feeding and playing with their children strengthens their fatherhood-feeling and thus emphasises masculinity.
Public vs. Private
The borderline between public and private is much clearer in Sweden than in some other countries. Colleagues seldom talk at work about their private issues. At maximum, they can exchange a couple of friendly phrases like “Have you had a nice weekend? What did you do then? Have you been at the countryside?”
Of course, it happens that colleagues become friends, too. However, most of the Swedes I know enjoy rather old friendships – often from their time in college. “I don’t need new ones when I am quite happy with my old ones”.
Having a “clear-cut” vision allows Swedes to focus on the job or function – it is a way to avoid inefficiency. It helps to give relevant feedback to your colleague and be specific when criticizing– you criticize WHAT is done wrong rather than give a general valuation which is more difficult to interpret (this is often the case with people who are more ‘diffuse’, i.e. having vague borderline between public and private).
Another reason why Swedes tend to keep private issues to themselves, is again “minding their own space” – Swedes are reluctant to load you with their own stuff. And – they do not want your stuff either. An effective tacit agreement!
Do not be surprised that you are not invited to your Swedish partner’s home – it might be a good tradition in your culture, but try to understand him, too. One Swede revealed a secret to me: “If I invite someone to my place, I have to make sure it is clean and nice, and I haven’t had the time to do it”. A private place like home must be adjusted to a business purpose! And he/she might have all the reasons for saying this. You see, it is not common in Sweden to have housekeepers or governesses – both men and women, although working fulltime, are expected to do housework and bring up their children themselves, as responsible family people.
This brings about a relatively new trend in the opposite direction in the Swedish society – the growing role of a responsible parent demands that a Swede sometimes has to prioritize her/his family issues over the job ones. It is totally accepted that you take some time off for visiting your child’s school events or make a medical visit in your working time.
In late spring and summer, you might however be invited to your host’s countryside house. In this case – ties off, leisure clothes and easy talk. Don’t say no – use the chance to get to know him/her and show your interest. “Midsommar” (midsummer holidays in June) can deliver such an occasion. Then you are likely to participate in traditional Swedish celebrations – including dancing the frog-dance around the maypole!
Level of formality
Remember, even in public, formal is always better than informal - no gum chewing, slouching, or leaning against things. However, Swedes are rather informal people – also when addressing each other.
In the course of the language reform (‘the you-reform’) of the 1960s, the Swedes effectively “got rid of” the formal Ni (equivalent of Sie in German or the polite Вы in Russian when addressing a person). Since then, the singular pronoun Ni (as opposed to the plural pronoun ni) can be used when addressing an obviously elderly person, and only with the intention of showing her/him special respect. It is by no means a must. A shop assistant might want to do that when serving an elderly lady.
Otherwise, Swedes say “du” to each other. The exceptions are Their Majesties and the Crown Princess whom you address in the third person, i.e. “His Majesty” or “The Crown princess” [“What is His Majesty’s take on the forthcoming hockey match?”].
Swedes like to establish relationships on an informal, but not familiar, level. As people are generally friendly, even to strangers, one might get an impression that everyone knows each other. This is certainly not the case, and getting really knowing each other might take a long while. Once a relationship has been formed, they move to a more familiar level.
Older, upper-class people can be more formal. In this case, be sure to shake their hands when greeting and when departing. They sometimes avoid the pronoun 'you' but instead refer to people in the third person [e.g., when greeting Mr. Jarl, they will say, 'How is Mr. Jarl today'?]. To be appropriately formal, you should respond in the same way, although few young people use this method of speech.
Expect to address a person by his or her first name. Titles are not important in Sweden. Unless you specifically ask the person you talk to what he/she works with you might never find out the title. As in many other Swedish contexts, relevance to the situation decides on whether or not to name one’s title. Titles are no longer part of the address, so instead of “Good morning director Andersson!” you should simply say “Good morning Lars!”.
Thanking
In Sweden, one hears “thank you” (‘tack!’) much more often than in other countries. Swedes thank when they take and when they give. A clerk in the bank can welcome you by a “ja, tack!” meaning “How can I help you?”
When you meet someone after you have been a guest at his or her house, make it a point to thank him or her at once. You say “Tack för senast!” (‘Thank you for the last time!’). The Swedish think that an extra thank you is never wrong!
Queuing
A VERY Swedish thing! Try bypassing a queue – the others will give you a look that will make you ashamed. Only “uncivilized and hopelessly arrogant” people bypass queues. A bus stop is a good illustration – what a pretty view people lining up for getting on the bus which has not yet arrived!
“Fair play” is another backbone of the Swedish society. Regardless of social status, gender and even age – always take your own place in the queue. First come - first served; no privileges here! You are expected to patiently wait for your turn, no matter how long it takes. On the other hand, once you have reached the cashier, he/she is totally yours for as long as it takes you to get done with your things.
When visiting Swedish authorities, ticket offices, or shops with personal sales service, always start with finding a queue ticket vending machine around. Press the button, get your number and wait until it shows up on the display.
Smoking
Smoking is prohibited almost everywhere. You should always pay attention to specially designated smoking areas equipped with wind-proof ashtrays. In some restaurants, although you should not expect it by default, there might be a smoking area. Otherwise, you are expected to smoke outside the building (where you will find your ashtray).
By many, smoking is seen as an irrational act, somewhat of a measure of your maturity. Why do you keep smoking if you know that half of all smokers end up having an early death?
Drinking
The Swedish government has a monopoly on the import of alcohol. Alcohol stronger than 3,5% can be bought from the non-profit, government-run liquor store Systembolaget. Lighter alcoholic beverages are sold in ordinary grocery-stores. Restaurants and bars must obtain a license for selling/serving alcohol.
Many foreigners coming from more ‘liberal’ countries strongly dislike the monopoly. However, having lived here for some time one realizes that the coin has two sides.
On the upside, you have a huge assortment of quality wines from all over the world, and it does not cost you a fortune. Systembolaget is a very mighty importer, which has long-term and high-volume contracts with a large number of wineries in the world. This helps to make good wine accessible to everyone. Besides, you can always consult knowledgeable shop assistants in all wine-related matters – which for example helps to arrange a good dinner with “right” wines served with “right” food.
On the downside, the Systembolaget shops are not to be found at every corner, and they are closed on Sundays. On Saturdays, the opening hours are 10.00 – 15.00. So you have to plan your alcohol purchase in advance which is sometimes irritating.
However, one gets used to it, and most of the people conclude that the upside overweighs the downside. Systembolaget provides import services for private individuals, too. So if you travel the world and have found the wine of your dreams that you want to have in your cellars, place an order with Systembolaget and they will take care of the import for you. This service is not too expensive.
Drunken driving laws are strictly enforced; it would be a mistake to have even one drink and drive. And – since Sweden is one of the top three countries in the world with lowest corruption level - please do not attempt bribing police officers if you get caught. It will only double the trouble.
Public transport
Public transport consists of buses, subway (‘tunnelbana’ or ‘T-bana’ in Swedish) in major cities and in some cities trams, as well as ferries and, to some extent, passenger boats.
The subway system stops operating after midnight or 1 a.m. unless on special occasions. Most of the bus-lines continue operating during the night, with 1-hour interval.
In Stockholm (and soon in the whole country), you cannot buy your bus ticket onboard the bus. This is done in order to minimize cash transactions and also make the drivers’ working place safer, especially during night hours.
You should think about it in advance and choose one of the following ways of obtaining tickets:
buying a set of coupons (16 pieces, ‘remsa’ in Swedish) at kiosks (e.g. Pressbyrå), post offices and in some smaller shops, as well as at the entrance into the subway stations, buying a period card – for the desired number of days, weeks or months, buying a one-time ticket in a vending machine that is to be found on quite many bus stops, buying a ticket via SMS – if you have a Swedish sim-card in your mobile phone.
Soon a new electronic ticketing system will be introduced in the whole country – SL Access – that will replace these multiple choices for buying tickets.
More information in English is to be found at www.sl.se. This page also provides a Journey Planner that enables you to plan your journey throughout the whole major Stockholm area in detail.
Taxi
The easiest way to catch a cab is at designated taxi stands. Hotels are good places to find a taxi, but often charge more for the same ride; a hotel surcharge is added to the meter fare, in some cases. It is not customary to stop cabs in the street. Even if the cab seems to be vacant, it is most probably pre-booked and therefore won’t stop.
Many enterprises have accounts with taxi companies. If you are visiting an office where there is a reception, you can always ask the receptionist to assist you with a cab.
All cabs are equipped with card payment terminals. You pay according to your taximeter and are always offered a receipt. It is totally up to you to pay tip or not – the drivers do not expect it ‘by default’.
If you arrive / travel in Stockholm the following taxi companies are considered to be the most reliable in terms of service quality: Taxi 020, Taxi Stockholm, Taxi Kurir.
